The Bling Ring (2013)

Rating: 4/5

A couple of Summers ago, I indulged in my guilty pleasure of argumentative American TV in the form of a new series on E! entitled 'Pretty Wild,' which in a nutshell followed young Valley brat Alexis Neiers, her sisters and their psychotic Adderall-dispensing mother. Of course, the delusional, over-indulged daughters all wanted to be models, they were home-schooled some wishy-washy belief system called The Secret, and to top it all off, Alexis was on trial for burglarizing a bunch of celebrities' homes. She cried, and stropped, and couldn't believe a Vanity Fair article would make her out to be an idiot, and eventually went down for the crimes. It was truly hilarious to behold, and now, through the eyes of Sofia Ford Coppola, comes the movie adaptation of the incredulous Hollywood Hills Burglaries.

I imagine most Brits will be seeing The Bling Ring to see Emma Watson. After all, the actual events of a few years ago weren't so heavily covered in the UK media as they were in the US, so Watson is certainly the appeal of this story. Though her Neiers-influenced character Nicki is not the leading role, she certainly shines through, approaching her performance with her undeniable intelligence. This movie is hugely satirical: it is not so much a teen flick to influence, inspire or entertain young people, more a dark comedy, examining the huge crime that was entirely fueled by naive, rich teenage self-indulgence and exposes the ridiculousness of celebrity worship.

Although the performances are all good and convincing considering that a lot of real quotes and mannerisms have been adopted from Nancy Jo Sales' Vanity Fair article, Watson seems to be the only young lead who treats her performance with the right level of irony. Perhaps the remaining American side of the cast are more absorbed in the culture they portray, and so take it more seriously.

Taking place in Ol' Town Calabasas - the same rich end of LA that the Kardashians inhabit - Rebecca (Katie Chang) and Marc (Israel Broussard) meet at a drop-out school for troublesome kids, and despite both coming from highly privileged backgrounds, start breaking into Paris Hilton's house when the 24-7 media of today informs them she is hosting a party out of town. Marc enjoys good times with his new friend and is useful to her, but Rebecca is obsessed with celebrity culture, and gets the ultimate rush from stealing the expensive belongings of Hollywood's dumbest. Soon their friends Nicki (Watson) and Chloe (Claire Julien) are along for the ride, and the gang are an incorrigible group of thieves.

It's remarkable how easy their little escapades are to pull off. Surely even Paris Hilton isn't dumb enough to leave her house keys (complete with pretentious Eiffel Tower keyring) under the mat on the porch, right? That's why I say Hollywood's Dumbest. Only Audrina Patridge and Orlando Bloom were logical enough to install security cameras in their luxurious pads, which quite obviously contain very valuable, very steal-able goods.

At times the script, also by Ford Coppola, can sound ridiculous. "I think this whole experience is a huge learning lesson," Nicki tells the paps. From the mouths of babes! This is another priceless Neiers quote, and when you stop and look at the kinds of people being portrayed, it suddenly doesn't seem so unbelievable. In fact, Ford Coppola demonstrates a keen ear for the way young people talk today.

It's appropriately and impressively constructed, and I also enjoyed Israel Broussard's performance. He manages to conjure up even a little empathy, and is the only character to express any genuine remorse for his actions, and the most accepting of his punishment.

The ultimate irony the movie portrays is the idea of celebrity. These teens do nothing but stalk every detail of their idols' lives, and all at some point or other project ambitions to become big and famous in some field or other. Rebecca is said to "crave the celebrity lifestyle that everyone secretly wants," and as the crimes get recognised, and the stupid teens leave an easy trail of evidence behind them, it becomes the biggest story in Hollywood. They themselves are celebrities, both before they are discovered, and after they are revealed, at which point they have Facebook pages dedicated to them, and swarms of supposedly supportive followers.

Giving an interview after the character's incarceration, Watson closes the picture with a finely-delivered epitome: "Yeah, it was really terrible. But anyway, to know all about me and my life, go to NickiMoore4Evah.com"